The 'bard of Salford' appointed by Hiscox as its first '(Under)Writer in Residence'
Punk poet
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John Cooper Clarke tackles his most challenging role yet as '(Under)Writer in Residence' for insurance companyHiscox -
From thieving baboons and a pilfering poltergeist to a claim over a prize bull's semen,
Cooper Clarke shares five new poems 1 inspired by extraordinary insurance claims - New data commissioned by Hiscox reveals that almost one in four (23%) small business owners have made an insurance claim for something they could never have predicted
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To hear and see
John Cooper Clarke (aka the bard of Salford) with his poetic take on the world of insurance, please visit: http://www.hiscox.co.uk/JCC
In a move that sees two very different writing worlds collide, the 'bard of
The appointment of the wordsmith follows new data2 revealing that almost one in four (23%) small business owners have made claims for events or mishaps that they would never have expected.
Commenting on his new role as Hiscox's (Under)Writer in Residence, John Cooper Clarke said: "Just as nobody would have predicted that I'd end up in the insurance bracket, it turns out there's not much that you can safely predict in running a small business. Insurance may seem like a mundane realm, but as the poems show, it's a rich tapestry of human chaos, from tragedy to comedy and beyond."
Are business owners ready for the unexpected?
New data released by the insurer highlights that a quarter (26%) of small businesses don't have business insurance to help when things go wrong and amongst those that do, 23% have made a claim for something they could never have predicted would happen.
Further statistics showed that in the continued tough economic climate, 40% of small business owners who do have insurance are thinking about making cuts to it and over a third (36%) felt a business should be generating more than £25,000 a year before getting cover. Despite being a legal requirement3 for most businesses that employ staff, 34% don't think insurance is a necessary outlay until a business takes on a second employee.
Link to John reading the poems is here:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/xeb148nyxzqo6jhszoen8/h?rlkey=bhnka65c4e15ty7vnanbi4h09&dl=0
To hear and see
Notes to editors
1. The (Under)Writer in Residence anthology
The bull and the farmer
A farmer whose prize bull suddenly dies
Must say his goodbye to next year's prize
The best in the biz
They were selling his fizz
Then everything went in the red
It's spermatazoa
Isn't a goer
Now the poor animal's dead
But the farmer's earnings
May yet be returning
The insurance paid up instead.
The baboon and the photographer
A wildlife snapper in the Kenyan greenery
Figured baboons were just part of the scenery
Until they swiped all the fella's machinery
Cheeky monkeys or what?
Still Hiscox paid on the spot.
Cat and cat
They fought like cat and cat - who's that?
This client's two kittens in a spat
A cup of coffee got spilt - evidence of their destructive guilt
There disabled on the kitchen table
His laptop sabotaged it can't be rebuilt
Hiscox responded with admirable haste
And instantly the machine replaced
So put this on your blog
It wouldn't have happened with a dog.
Electric fence
For a citizen in the countryside
It could have been worse he might have died
Most people would rather suspend their suspense
Than put to the test an electric fence
This one guy however had no common sense
He sued the landowner who claimed recompense
and was fortunately covered for just such events
A nasty shock then a pleasant surprise
for no one is, at all times, wise.
Poltergeist and the jewellery
A few years ago a jewellery heist
was carried out by a poltergeist
gone was the gelt and away went the ice
Then the items returned
Lessons were learned
And the compo refunded all legal and nice.
2. The research was conducted by Censuswide with
3. Employers' Liability (EL) insurance is a legal requirement for most businesses as soon as they become an employer
About
His distinctive poetry style combines rapid-fire delivery, razor-sharp wit, and a keen observation of urban life. His poetry often explores themes of urban decay, working-class life, and the absurdities of modern society, delivered with a blend of cynicism and dark humour.
Over the years the Punk Poet has collaborated with various musicians and bands including the Arctic Monkeys, Joy Division and the Sex Pistols, and his influence extends far beyond the punk movement, inspiring generations of poets and performers with his approach to art and expression.
John continues to be a prominent figure in British culture and regularly appears on television and radio. Just last month he released his third book, WHAT, a collection of new, enchanting poems.
About
Hiscox is a global specialist insurer, headquartered in
Our values define our business, with a focus on people, courage, ownership and integrity. We pride ourselves on being true to our word and our award-winning claims service is testament to that. For more information, visit www.hiscoxgroup.com.
For more information, visit www.hiscoxgroup.com.
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